Instructions Not Included!

On Saturday, January 21, 2006, Jeff's and my lives changed forever. On that day, our son, Jacob Matthew, entered our lives at 3:40 pm weighing 5# 13 oz and measuring 19.5 inches long. I can still remember the details of that day vividly. A Mythbusters marathon was playing, my mom kept vigil in the waiting room, Jeff got to wear green scrubs, and my parents got to visit Jacob in the NICU immediately after he was born.

I remember being terrified that not only was I responsible for myself, but this little person who could not tell me what he wanted or needed. Jeff and I have experienced a roller coaster of emotions from exuberance to fear to "what have we gotten ourselves into." But we have survived and so has Jacob. It is difficult to believe that the tiny little baby that they send home with you is actually stronger and more resilient than you at times. We have survived fevers, pink eye, ear infections, a broken clavicle, and nights when we ran out of sheets for both Jacob's and our bed which resulted in no hot water for showers in the morning.

I refuse to touch raw meat (beef, chicken, if it is not cooked, I am not touching it). But I have found that getting peed on, pooped on, or vomited on does not bother me at all. I just clean it up and go on about my day. For any first time mother's of boys - beware there is something about exposing the little fire hose to air that makes it go off! At the time, I remember wondering what are we doing, but looking back I would not trade any of those sleepless nights.

And as I look back on the last six years, I realize that we are doing okay. There are days that I feel like the worst mother in the world - what mother who works outside the home does not feel like that especially when she forgets the juice box for lunch? For all of the mistakes that we have made (and will continue to make), I think we are doing pretty good. Jacob has the purest heart of anyone I know - there is not a mean bone in his body. He is wonderful with little babies and kids and treats them so gently. He loves his family, gives hugs and kisses freely to anyone who wants them, knows what he wants in a restaurant (chicken fingers please), and can make a new friend in minutes.

Do you ever look at your kids and wonder how their mind works, how much they remember? A few weeks ago, Jacob asked Jeff if he had a sword, which he does as part of his K of C dress. We talked about what 4th degree K of C members wear and that Jacob had never seen Jeff in his full dress. Jacob responded, "Yes I did. I remember looking down on you when I was in heaven before I was born." We asked him what he meant and he explained that God had been looking for a nice family for him and that Jacob would watch us from heaven. He said, "I remember seeing you and Dad." We asked him who else he had seen in heaven and he distinctly said, "I did not see my papaws because they were not up there." How do you respond to that? It gave me such hope that what we have been telling him is true - that both of his grandpas are up in heaven, watching him, and protecting him especially when Jeff and I cannot be there. He is our answer to prayer. Sometimes I think that when we are the ones that are supposed to be teaching him, he is actually teaching us.

So here is to the next six years - I wonder what conversations we will have, who he will say is his girlfriend (will it still be Eleanor?), and how many more times I will receive the vampire scowl because I tell him to kneel and stand correctly in Church (I am guessing every weekend until he is in his twenties!). I am looking forward to all of the memories that we will make, the adventures that we will take, and all of the mistakes that we will make! May Jeff, Jacob, and I be successful in this endeavor.

P.S. I am forever grateful for all of the patience and advice that has been given by family and friends. Could not do this without you all!

Little Quack has Started to Swim

Sorry for the long absence.  It has been a busy summer in the Bohan household.  Jacob played baseball and had a blast.  He has the stance down when standing on base.  I have to commend the coaches - Misters Shipman, Munn, and Siemers - they were so patient with all of the kids and taught them a lot about team sports, supporting each other, and congratulating the opponent on a game well played.  The end of July found us getting ready for school - buying clothes, supplies, and the appropriate lunch box.  Sorry Batman - Jacob is sporting Spiderman this year both on his backpack and lunch box.  And then on August 16 - our little quack began his school career at St. Lawrence.

Little Quack is a book that was Jacob's favorite when he was a "toddler" in his words.  It's a story about a Mama duck who is teaching her five little ducklings (Piddle, Puddle, Widdle, Waddle, and Little Quack) to swim in the pond.  They are all hesitant at first, but eventually ease into the water and exclaim at how fun it is to swim.  Little Quack is the last to enter the pond behind all of his brothers and sisters.  I was excited for Jacob to start school as it would be a new experience and he would expand his group of friends.  I also did not think I cry when Jeff and I took him to school on Tuesday - I had already been through the separation phase since I had been taking him to daycare for the past 3 years, but I was wrong.  In the early morning hours on Tuesday, I got to thinking about Jacob starting Kindergarten and I realized something.  Kindergarten is just the first little push out of the nest that parents give their children.  They are like baby birds learning to fly or baby ducklings learning to swim.  It is the first step towards becoming their own little people and experiencing a small taste of independence without Mom and Dad hovering over their every move.  And every year, the flying and swimming lessons get broader in scope until they are soaring on their own.

So here is to our Little Quack - may you always have sunny skies and smooth waters throughout your life.  And when the storms, strong winds, and rolling waves come your way, hopefully we have provided you with the tools and perseverance to navigate your way to fair winds and following seas.  Until then, learn to fly, swim, and dream and enjoy all that life has to offer you from the safety of our nest.

Rev. Maurice Miller & I am a Ballplayer!

As the Catholic community in Lafayette knows, we lost the epitome of priests on June 1, 2011, Father Miller.  I will always have fond memories of Father Miller.  He always was in the back of church to greet you before mass and after mass, always sang or hummed the hymn, and never forgot a name.  He was the glue that held the parish together during three transitions of pastors.  He always brought a smile to my face, especially when he would wear his Notre Dame pants on Football Saturdays (while the majority of the parish wore Old Gold and Black) and ask Jeff, "Say, how about those Boilers."

I have a special memory of Father Miller, actually two, but one that I will never forget.  One of Father Miller's most special characteristics was the love he felt for his fellow man - Catholic, non-Catholic, Christian, or non-Christian - and he was there for all of us whether we were healthy or not.  One of his priestly ministries that he took very seriously was visiting the sick.  When our son Jacob was born in January 2006, Father Michael McKinley was pastor of St. Ann's and fighting for his life due to a ruptured appendix in St. Elizabeth Hospital on the other side of town.  On our last day in Home Hospital, Father Miller came to see Jacob and I to pray with us and offer a blessing.  I remember standing beside Father Miller as he gave Jacob his first blessing and will never forget the feeling of peace that he provided.  From that day on, he always asked about Jacob and would always call him by his first and middle name - Jacob Matthew.  And as a small repayment of the many favors and prayers that he offered, we have added him to our nightly prayer asking that God grant him peace and special blessings.

In other news, Jacob has been playing baseball in the Lafayette Shetland league for 4 & 5 year olds.  The first game was pretty much organized chaos.  Whenever the ball was hit by the opposing team, our entire team tried to field it, no matter how close or far the ball was to them.  In just four games, the kids have really improved.  Now only 2-3 kids try to field the ball instead of the entire team of 13 and many of the kids can almost throw the ball from 2nd base to first base without hitting the ground.  At the last game, the big thing between both teams was to slide into home plate (for those of you that don't know, the kids are not supposed to slide).  I am by no means a sports fan, but I have really enjoyed watching the games and cheering for all of the players - from our team or the opposing team.  Jacob has gotten a lot better also at hitting, fielding, and throwing.  He is not (and probably won't be) a Ryne Sandberg or Clayton Richards, but in his words, "I am a ballplayer, Mom!".

I would like to commend the coaches also - Mr. Shipman, Mr. Munn, and Mr. Siemers.  They have all been wonderful with the kids and working with them to improve.  Just would like to say - Great Job, Guys!!

Happy Memorial Day and Rhut Rho Shaggy!

I would like to thank all of the service men and women that have served our country and sacrificed family, health, and life to keep our country safe.  Our family is proud to have had six such individuals.  My father-in-law (Bob) was a proud veteran of the Navy and served in WWII, my father served in peace time in the Air Force and spent time defending the DMZ in South Korea, my brother-in-law served honorably in the Coast Guard defending our waters, my brother-in-law, Ray, served during the Vietnam war as a proud member of the Air Force, my cousin Cheri also served honorably in the Air Force, and last but not least, my neice's husband, Matt, is in his 20th year of service in the Army as a recruiter.  And I am sure that I am forgetting some others.  We are proud of all of them.  My small family of three started a tradition in 2007 of honoring my dad's and Bob's memory with flowers on their graves.  It hit me hard this year that Bob will have been gone from us for 5 years this July and my dad will have been gone 3 years this August.  So much has happened with our family in the space of that time, but I believe that they have been with us every step of the way  gentling guiding us, providing encouragement, and celebrating the good times and the bad with us.  I miss them both, but know in my heart that they are with us always. 

And enough with the maudlin.  It would not be a holiday without an injury, now would it?  Jeff works very hard to take care of my parents' yard and our yard every summer.   I help Jeff on the weekends when he mows the 3 lots and my parents' yard.  Jacob always goes out with us and rides around on his 4 wheeler and basically terrorizes his grandmother and aunt.  Today, my Uncle Jim from Elkhart drove down to pick up some furniture that we had hauled away from my cousins' house on the campus of Miami University of Ohio on Mother's Day weekend.  The plan was to go in to Lafayette and have lunch and Jacob was excited until we went to get the booster seat out of my dad's car.  Two of his fingers accidentally got shut into the door of the car.  After wailing, tears, some ice, TLC from Mom, and a Scooby Doo movie later (Thank you Cartoon Network), he was fine.  No bones appear to be broken (Thank Goodness - his fingers must be moldable like mine according to Grandma), but he may lose the nail on the tall finger.  So hopefully that is our injury for this holiday.  Hope your holiday has been safe and injury free.  But if not, Scooby Doo can cure anything - at least according to Jacob.

The little white lies we tell our kids

Our son, Jacob, does not like storms.  In fact he hates them and is terrified of them - but has really worked on conquering his fear.  When he was about 3, I thought it would be comforting to tell him that thunder and lightening were only his two papaws bowling with the angels in heaven.  I also added that both of his papaws loved him dearly and would not let anything harm him - in fact they were his guardian angels.  Needless to say, my plan backfired.  For about a year to a year and half after, he would yell at the ceiling for his papaws to stop making so much noise when it stormed and that he was very upset with both of them.  Now as he has gotten a bit older, he has stopped yelling at the ceiling, and resorted to asking why his papaws are making it rain all of the time.  "Why won't they stop Mom?  I want to go out to play."  So we have had several discussions about the flowers, trees, and grass needing water to grow and that God is providing them with nourishment. 

With all of the storms that have been  happening around the country this Spring, it leaves me in awe at the power of mother nature.  It also makes me realize that even though Jacob had a rough night sleeping last night (which means so did I) and it will probably be a rough night tonight, it is trivial with all of the destruction that has occurred in Alabama, Oklahoma, and Arkansas.  I have friends who have had family members lose everything - homes, memories, and have been injured by the power of storms.  And my biggest complaint this week - that I will have an uncomfortable night's sleep in my son's bed with him due to his fear of storms.  I should be and am thankful that I will have a bed to sleep in, a roof over my family, and a little boy who wants nothing more than his parents to be with him as much as possible.  That is what is truly  important.  I can do without a good night's sleep as long as I have that forever.